We’re All Liars Here by Gina Fluharty
Tomorrow we—as a nation—will celebrate ultimate victory. We’ll blow shit up in honor of the birth of a free nation. Tyranny’s defeat. The start of a despotic campaign to subjugate a native population under the guise of progress and freedom. But do we Janes want to talk about that? Hell no. We’d rather talk about pain and misfortune, aka REJECTION.
I’d love to tell you that I handle rejection with grace and aplomb but most of you already know I’m a big, fat, hairy liar who gives Pinocchio a long, hard run for good money. So for the sake of you, my dearest reader, I’ll stick with truth—straight-up bourbon-infused truth.
Rejection sucks wind harder than a one-nostriled asthmatic marathoner with emphysema. Rejection blows worse than a cheap hooker with rusty braces. Rejection feasts on the precious pearls of love and wisdom that drip from our curled…well, you get the picture.
It hurts. I used to think sad panda was just a cute emoji but I’ve discovered it’s an actual and factual emotion. Sad panda sucks sweaty jock ass. But after sad panda abates—with the love and encouragement of excellent friends and copious amounts of booze—it’s time to read WHY rejection happened.
I’ve been rejected a few times now and only once did I shout, “Alright!” and fist pump the heavens. That first rejection meant I could go PRO in RWA and it’s the only rejection that felt good. I highly recommend it to all of our new chapter members. If the pin was better, I’d demand they go PRO just to sport it.
But I digress. I’ve been rejected by three publishers in various ways. Silence was my least favorite. They even said in the confirmation e-mail that no news was the news if they didn’t like it. The second house was via a form letter—professional but gave no clue as to why. But my third—and the publisher I am fixated on—gave me feedback. Actual someone-took-the-time-to-tell-me-there-were-issues letters. I LOVE those letters. They give me hope. They tell me if I’d like to address said issues and rewrite the book, I can RESUBMIT! Holy crap, honest-to-goodness HOPE wells in me when I read those words. And it keeps my ass in the chair and my fingers on the keyboard.
So to sum up, rejection is no one’s end game but it is a big part of the game. A long con instead of a quick shell game, if you will. Keep writing, finish books, submit to agents or editors and repeat. Over and over until finally, CONTRACT.
And now it’s time to share: Tell me either your worst rejection or your funniest.