Down The Rabbit Hole by Susan Lute

I love the Matrix trilogy (films). They are stories about how things aren’t always what they seem on the surface, and if you tumble down the rabbit hole, you’re likely to discover a reality that is vastly different from the mask we live with every day.

That’s what has happened since I became an indie author. While being wildly exciting (now – I was more cautious when I published my first book), it’s also been wildly challenging to adapt to this new world of publishing. Today, my third indie novel, The Return Of Benjamin Quincy is in production (I like the sound of that), and with any kind of luck will be on sale before the end of December. By then I’ll also, hopefully, have started the next project.

So here I am, “taking a break”. What does an author do on their ‘break’? I usually limit my breaks to one week, but this one has stretched into two, and I hate to say it, could end up being three. Since all my deadlines are self-imposed, this isn’t a big problem, except that nagging need inside my chest to stop piddling around and get back to writing. But ignoring that, I’m wrapping presents, thinking about when I can dangle tinsel on the tree while watching my favorite Christmas movie, hanging stockings and wreaths. Family is in town for an early holiday week, so I’m spending as much time as possible with them. I’m sightseeing, reading (Kerrelyn Sparks’ Sexiest Vampire Alive), taking pictures, editing them, and kind of cleaning off the desk (a day in a writer’s life, right?)

In the midst of all this, I came across these notes, which was the real stimulus for this post. I believe I was listening to Michael Hauge when I took them. He talks a lot about stripping away a character’s mask to find their essence. So here are my notes:

Identity: tough girl

    • If her identity is stripped away, what’s left? Courage.

    • Who is she really? Who would she become if she had the courage to go fully into her essence?

    • Identities protect us because we believe that’s who we really are.

    • Going from living fully in an identity to living completely in essence means going from fear to having the courage to discover true self.

Obviously this note is the rambling of a writer’s mind who is trying to understand her character. It’s that tumble down the rabbit hole in search of truth, and for me, courage. Standing at the bottom of the rabbit hole with a whole other world in front of me, looking up at the only way out, I begin to wonder (as Mr. Hauge does)…are these notes about my characters? Or, are they really about me, the writer?

What do you think? Have you tumbled down the rabbit hole? If you have, what something new did you discover?


About Susan

Author, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, dreamer.

Posted on December 18, 2011, in General and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. That’s so exciting, Kim. I’m excited too. 2012 is going to be awesome 😀


  2. I’m still in the process of tumbling and am actually excited about where I’ll end up. I think next year will be a big year for me – what that means still remains to be seen. I just feel good about it. 🙂


  3. Same here. Thanks Maggie. The whole family is gathered, so I’m blessed 😀


  4. The answer is Yes. 🙂 Yes it is about the character and yes it is about us as writers. Personally, I don’t think I write as emotionally about my characters unless I’m answering questions for myself. Sometimes they are “in search of” questions. Other times they are firm beliefs I want to share.

    Happy Holidays, Susan. Enjoy the time with your family.


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