When It’s Wrong, It’s Right

I recently celebrated forty years of marriage with Mr. Don, the sexiest man on

Photo via Death to the Stock Photo

Photo via Death to the Stock Photo


Now, when we first wed, nobody thought we’d make it past Year Three. After all, we’d tied the knot so fast: three weeks after our first date we were engaged, then got married two months after that. We knew nothing about each other, therefore how could it possibly last? All we had, according to several members of my scandalized family, was . . . you know . . . S-E-X.

Well, yeah, we had sex, for sure. Every chance we got.

Going in for pre-wedding counseling, the minister scheduled to marry us asked how long we’d been dating. When we told him, he immediately turned to me, aghast. “Are you pregnant?”

After a moment of shock I replied, “If I were I wouldn’t know it yet.”

This was something he really didn’t want to hear. However, he did marry us, so I have fond memories of the man.

Just about everyone in our combined families has divorced at least once. We have a few double-and-triple-headers as well. And over the years we have been asked what our secret is, since we started married life knowing nothing about each other. How did we manage to keep it going, especially in the face of some really difficult choices, the kind of stuff that often kills your average marriage?

It’s actually pretty simple: we each do what we know the other wants, and we do it without debate. This can cover everything from that afore-mentioned S-E-X, to what to spend money on or have for dinner, where to go on vacation, what hairstyle to wear, beard or no beard (Mr. Don, not me!), etc. He does things he doesn’t like, and he does them for me. And I return the favor. Sometimes we stomp around each other, and sometimes we walk on eggshells. Always, we love.

But mostly, we think of marriage as a job, and we want to be the very best at it. We get up in the morning, get dressed, and go to our marriage. It might sound a bit nuts but it works for us. And it’s kept us eager to learn about each other, every single day, from the very moment we said, “I Do.”

In fact, we’re still learning.

Why, just the other day I learned it’s really fun to go to the marriage before getting dressed. And it has nothing to do with that S-E-X thing.

Yeah, right.

Char Chaffin writes multi-genre romance filled with family, rich characters and engaging plots. For her, it all comes back to the love.

She’s traveled all over the United States and can claim to have been in every state, plus parts of Mexico and Canada. She’s lived in seven states during her forty years of marriage to hubby Don, a retired Air Force man with a love of Fifties rock n’ roll and a passion for hot, classic cars. Between them they have three children and four grandchildren, all scattered to the far corners of the country. One of their great joys in life is to hop a plane or an RV and visit the kids for long periods of time.

She is multi-published, and always working on that next manuscript.

A displaced Alaskan, Char currently divides her time between Fairbanks, Alaska and a sixty-acre farm in Upstate New York, with periodic forays into South Texas and Michigan. She and Don steal away to the Last Frontier and other parts unknown as often as time allows.

When she’s not pounding away at her keyboard or burying her nose in copious amounts of reading material, she likes nothing better than to hang out in her kitchen and cook up a frenzy.

Mostly involving chocolate.


About Jamie Brazil

Humor writer, romance novelist, Bloodhound enthusiast.

Posted on February 12, 2015, in Auth: Special Guest, General and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Thank you Char for guest blogging at See Jane Publish with this great story for us single ladies. finding the right one may not take that much time at all! 😄


  2. Great post, Char. I completely agree. Here’s to many more years of marital happiness! 🙂


  3. Loved this: “t’s actually pretty simple: we each do what we know the other wants, and we do it without debate. ” I think you’ve hit on a secret there. Thanks.


  4. HI Char- I really enjoyed reading your post! Best to you and Don – I wish you many more happy years together 🙂


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